I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
