oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am midnight drunk by noon
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
