Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
