Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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