i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
