so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
