You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
