Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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