He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize