I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize