i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
