we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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