i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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