Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize