sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
