So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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