He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
There's even glitter on my cock...
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