i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How external is "for external use only"?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
