Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
a search helicopter?!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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