Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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