"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
