Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
