the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
