You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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