well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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