you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
