Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize