Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
