Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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