Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My vagina just recognized that song.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
