Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
