yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
