whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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