bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
