I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
