...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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