Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I enjoy the company of your penis
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
