I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
