You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
