Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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