its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sorry about my life...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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