ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize