i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
