She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
