The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize