apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he puts the penis in happiness.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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