Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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