3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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