I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
