apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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