That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
