are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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