shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
