dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
