Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
