Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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