Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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