As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Pooping to opera.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize