there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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