she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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