he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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